Feeling Invisible. Or Insignificant?

 

Ever wonder how far your influence splatters?


 

Ever Ask, “Do I Matter?”

Me too.

Today’s CREATIVE DISRUPTION explores those days when the demon of comparison is our greatest enemy.

And the dream of something ANYTHING…beyond ORDINARY fades farther and farther from view.

 
 

What will you see today?

 

 

BEGIN WITH AWARENESS

“Do I matter?”

The question skidded into my journal one unruly Tuesday. Daring comparison. Begging comfort. Or at the very least, justification.

It is human nature to consider our place in the universe. Yet the words startle and unseat. The fate of world and self meeting at a threshold of choice.

Avoid? Worry? Or Contemplate?

Four pages later, eased by a deliberate flow of angst, I pause. Resting in the safe zone of my $1.96 Wal Mart journal. Ready to move forward. And yet…

Still aware of a vague uneasiness in my belly. Still unable to claim victory over a lifetime of second guessing myself.

TIME FOR CREATIVE DISRUPTION

 

BACKGROUND

 

WHAT COLOR(S) AND MOVEMENT REPRESENT THE RAW EMOTION OF TODAY’S INQUIRY?

Regret

Flailing brushes and clashing colors. Wildly misfiring. Seeking to fill a blank-page-life.Taunting a clear message.

THE CHAOS OF HOPE

Unfinished paintings.

Unwritten books.

Warring entrepreneurial dreams.

What do your failures, gaps, and incomplete dreams look like?

 
 

TEXT/TEXTURE

 

WRITE, PAINT, OR COLLAGE RELATED BACKSTORIES. NO FILTERS…NO FIXING.

Backstory

I’d been through it too many times. Small person from a small minded family. Forever striving, but never arriving. Yawn.

Who is your strongest minimizer? What voices instigate comparison?

Instead of painting a lifetime of presumed smallness, I decide to tame the unruly under-layer. Avoidance?

I cut a leaf pattern, lay it over the page, and gleefully obliterate puke green pock marks. With a pink smeared paint roller.

 
 

I add periwinkle dots. Now…I’m starting to have fun. And just this ONE small breath of joy prompts me to remember why I bother writing and painting.

Because true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world… – Brené Brown

 
 

FORM

 

EXPLORE IMAGES, SHAPES, OR MARKS THAT BEGIN TO MOVE STUCK ENERGY.

Shifting a World in Chaos

I like tearing paper. Because it’s SO easy to flip and rip from my jumbled stack of magazines, books, and flyers.

“I never get stuck in overthinking here!” she gleefully cried.

How is it possible that the most intuitive wisdom comes from the simplest acts?

 
 

One look at those funny little skeletons and I knewI was the skeleton. Tearing bits of flesh from my 5’2” frame with every accusation of invisibility. In a boat of dreams…TRYING TRYING TRYING to move through life…while claiming my own finality.

Gulp.

Brené was right. People with chips and cracks hold one of the highest purposes of all. The ability to make others feel as if they belong. Because…in honoring our own vulnerability, we allow others to drop the measuring stick.

What form do your chips and cracks take?

Are they evident to others…or do you hide them away, always turning your perfect side toward the world?

 
 

FOCUS

 

DISRUPT OLD WAYS OF THINKING. VISUALIZE NEW.

An Expanded View

Color and form open new perspectives. Instead of focusing on my own self-claimed invisibility, I look outward.

I wonder how many people I’ve looked at all my life and never seen.
— John Steinbeck
 
 

I stop to gaze at the uncelebrated ones.

Choosing to see the ordinary people in my world. The ones without massive social media followings or flashy innovations. Ordinary people, who even brainy Harvard researchers note…influence others with the pattern of their days.

I see a friend who gathers women for intimate face to face communion. While everyone else is Netflix binging…and complaining of being lonely.

I see my struggling entrepreneurial daughter linking people across her global network. Envisioning how each one might help the other in the journey of life.

I see our local yoga teacher who offers free classes in the park. Calling out moves while respectfully juggling shade-tree-real-estate with the homeless ones.

I see the 90 year old woman in my friend’s church who still bakes daily treats for anyone who needs a smile.

Leaving Me to Ponder

Can there ever be a time when we DON’T influence others? Impossible.

So, what do I bring to the table? Of course, my chips and cracks. But there’s more. I find it sitting in a tiny message at the bottom of a tribal mask in today’s CREATIVE DISRUPTION.

To be able to stand NOT KNOWING long enough to let something alive take shape.

This is exactly what happens in an ordinary day in the life of THIS Artist of Creative Reflection. A day that started with uncertainty, and ended with three paint stained bits of intuition. Shared here…with you.

Final Focus

  1. How do I prefer to feel?

    Grateful for the ordinary ones in my life whose gifts lift souls, even without glossy PR photos.

  2. What wisdom can I now see?

    Ordinary human kindness…smiles…coffee dates…chatty handwritten letters..are the greatest SUPER POWERS of all.

  3. Choose one small action forward.

    Create and share a set of self-reflection questions designed to root out ordinary super powers. Looking out for YOU….while looking within...for the REAL me.

 
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